For men, ambition is considered a necessary and desirable part of life. Most women, however, associate ambition with egotism, self-aggrandizement, or manipulation. Getting to the bottom of why this is so required study of what ambition consists of--for both sexes. In childhood, the research uncovered, girls are clear about their ambitions. Their goals are grand, and they make no apologies for them. In nearly all childhood ambitions, two distinct factors are in place: the mastery of a special skill, and recognition for it. And what's true in childhood is no less true in later life: We all want our efforts and accomplishments acknowledged. Yet there are dramatic differences in how women and men create, reconfigure, and realize (or abandon) their goals. Most women are demure when praised for their achievements. One could chalk up this behavior to women's innate modesty or see it as a passive way of highlighting their accomplishments. But the fear of recognition that many women express suggests otherwise. Research has shown that such behavior varies according to social context: Women more openly seek and compete for affirmation when they are with other women, but they behave differently when competing with men. The underlying problem has to do with cultural ideals of femininity. Women face the reality that to appear feminine, they must provide or relinquish scarce resources to others--and recognition is indeed a scarce resource. Although women have more opportunities than ever before, they still come under social scrutiny that makes hard choices--such as when and whether to start a family or advance in the workplace--even harder. There are no easy solutions, but there are ways women can hold fast to their dreams. They must band together, learn to blow their own horns, and structure their lives in a way that promotes recognition.
